Life generates countless experiences, and one of the biggest challenges is becoming a parent or carer for children. Even the most educated people find parenting emotionally and physically demanding. Striving to be a perfect parent and trying to have all the answers can lead to physical and mental exhaustion. While most parents may present as competent, we don’t know what happens behind closed doors.
The teen years are a time of significant changes. Our brain and thought patterns are transitioning to adulthood, and we see the world differently with intense curiosity. As a parent of a teen, it’s essential to understand these changes. To work with this, one helpful key for a healthy parent-teen relationship is learning about Emotional Intelligence (EI). Practicing EI can improve communication at home and result in positive change for all relationships. Using EI strategies can also benefit your mental health and help you cope with a lot of challenges you face as a parent.
Communication is powerful. It can either boost self-confidence in your teen and validate their feelings, or, if your communication with your teen is poor, this can potentially impact them with a feeling of rejection and even a sense that they are not valued. Attentive parenting supports teens in developing a healthy sense of self, while feelings of rejection or insignificance can push them toward seeking acceptance elsewhere. At Training Wheels Parenting (TWP), we aim to help you tackle personal challenges by enhancing your parenting skills and strengths with a strong focus on child safety. To begin with, our program encourages using EI at home with suggested strategies for you to practice and discuss. This encourages you the parent, to demonstrate an empathetic approach and subsequently create new and healthy connections. A simple guideline outlined below using the AAAA process is promoted during TWP group discussions by breaking this down and interpreting how this can benefit you at home. Your new positive interactions are simple and effective steps toward encouraging your teen’s independent healthy choices during their journey toward adulthood.
AAAA Process from Anglicare Parentzone’s “Philosophy of Parenting” (POP) 2010 “Dealing with Feelings”:
1. Acknowledging: Recognising and naming our feelings.
2. Accepting: Owning our feelings without blaming others.
3. Approving: Allowing ourselves to feel that way.
4. Appropriately Expressing: Letting out feelings in ways that don’t harm others or damage property.
